“The escape from darkness involves two stages:
First, the recognition that darkness cannot hide. This step usually entails fear.
Second, the recognition that there is nothing you want to hide even if you could. This step brings escape from fear.
When you have become willing to hide nothing, you will not only be willing to enter into communion but will also understand peace and joy.”
– A Course in Miracles, p.11
I grew up without spirituality. And only in the last couple years felt an incredible connection to More. I love this quote because it highlights the lesson that I have been noticing and feeling in my recent life – you really can’t hide anything. You cannot “get away with” anything. “Lying” in the greater scheme of things is impossible. This is a bit scary to me.
My own past is riddled with lying, hiding the truth, and hiding myself. I found power in being alouf and riddled with a constant fear of rejection. If they find out I do this or I did that, they will hate me!
Yet I know that an acceptance (and love) of self is a much more powerful thought/action. This passage reminds us of this. There is nothing to hide; it is impossible to hide anything even if I wanted to; with acceptance of this will come peace.
Today I cursed all of the environmental courses that I took in college. Don’t get me wrong, they were life changing, eye opening, awakening, and led to many dark nights of the soul. They also planted some very resilient invisible scripts in my mind in regards to money.
In my classes I read about the actions of companies whose biggest goal is to make money. The simultaneous consequence sometimes being pollution, social injustices, and deforestation. I would hear of activist jobs, where the starting salary is next to nothing. I would read tips on how to go zero waste by never buying new things – even if it means wearing hole-y underwear (yes, a friend of mine did do this).
This week I sat back and took notice to the thoughts that I had in regards to money. I went deeper and asked what beliefs had formed these thoughts. Here are a few that I identified…
“Wanting to make money is evil.”
“Keeping a close eye on your bank account is what cheapskates do.”
“You can’t make good money working a job you love.”
All of these scripts are incorrect. Yet they exist within me and witnessing them has been quite surprising.
The truth is, money is just another form of energy. You can watch money come into your life by the work you produce or services you provide, and you can watch it go as you yourself pay for products or services.
What I am starting to realize is the beauty of being aware of your money. For most of us, the money that fills our bank accounts represents the thing that takes up most of our time – our work. Being conscious of what we spend our money on is recognizing that whatever we buy is a statement of support. Buying art that moves me, donating to a charity that I support, eating dinner at a local restaurant that I love… all of this is beautiful. And for the time being (and unless we go back to a bartering culture?) money is needed to do all of this.
I am very curious as to what financial “invisible scripts” other people subscribe to. Care to share?